Nick Clegg walked through a door, and he instinctively held it open for a woman walking in his direction, but then he remembered that the door was the one to the men’s toilets, so he had to pretend that he’d not been doing that at all.
Nick Clegg watched an old film and saw a woman in it who he found very attractive and hoped that someday the two of them might meet, but then he realised that by now she’d either be too old for them to really share a connection, or dead.
Nick Clegg checked his Facebook wall and someone he liked had posted something insulting as a joke (which was fine), but then someone he didn’t like had “liked” it, and Nick knew he was “liking” the post at face value and not in a jokey way.
Nick Clegg lost his phone, so he rang it from another phone so he could hear where it was, and when he found it he got excited because he had one missed call, but the missed call was just the one from himself.
Nick Clegg got told to mind a friend’s house while he was on holiday, but someone came and smashed all the windows and set the garage on fire and took the cat and now Nick is shaking in a corner while everyone else has to deal with it.
Nick Clegg thought he looked really cool and important crossing the road while the red man was lit, but halfway across it changed to the green man and he just looked ordinary.
Nick Clegg wrote a song, he wrote a song for you, and all the things you do, but then he found out someone already wrote that song and now some lawyers think he should pay them lots of money.
Nick Clegg sent his mum a birthday present but accidentally left the price tag on, and now she’ll say (if she thinks it’s cheap) that he’s a cheapskate, or (if she thinks it’s expensive) that he left it on to show off.
Nick Clegg invited all his friends round to watch the film on TV, but when they got there he realised he’d been looking at yesterday’s TV guide.
Nick Clegg smelled a fart in the meeting and saw everyone staring at him, but didn’t want to speak up and deny doing it in case he drew attention to it.